Narcissists are addicted to a drug known as "Narcissistic Supply". Attention (good OR bad), adulation, applause, fame, celebrity, notoriety - are all narcissistic supply. The people who supply these consistently, reliably, and predictably, are called "Narcissistic Supply Sources".

Why should the narcissist look for another source of supply if the current source of supply is available (always accepts him back)?

Cultivating a source of secondary narcissistic supply is a VERY time consuming and energy consuming affair. The path of least resistance (reverting to old sources) is always preferred.

The old source has the advantage of having recorded memories of past grandeur. Her very "surrender" and "yielding to his charms" IS the supply he seeks.

He sort of pushes the envelope, trying to ascertain and map the outer limits of his potency as irresistible male and mate. The more tortured the relationship - the sweeter the recurrent victory. This is doubly true when the narcissist is in the throes of life crises such as loss of a job, divorce, serious illness, etc.

He then tends to derive self esteem and a sense of self worth by proxy, by being associated with a successful woman

You may wish to refresh your memory regarding libidinal allocation in pathological narcissists:

http//samvak.tripod.com/msla7.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/msla8.html

To summarize:

Your narcissist keeps coming back and remains fixated on you because he has no free libido to employ in the pursuit of alternative sources. And because you keep accepting him back.

Additional Q&A's

Go Back to Home Page!

Journal Entries

Frequently Asked Questions about Pathological Narcissism

Excerpts from the Archive of the Narcissism List

The Narcissism List Home Page

Philosophical Musings

After the Rain - How the West Lost the East

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Suite101

Internet: A Medium or a Message?

Write to me: palma@unet.com.mk  or narcissisticabuse-owner@yahoogroups.com